Friday, March 14, 2008

How To Control Your Emotion

Everyone of us has emotion. We are human, and we live in a world full of events. Some events favoured us, while some are against us.

People also affect our emotion and our thinking. They make us hot and make us cold. They may like us at times, and dig at us another time.

So what is the constant here?

The constant is we, ourselves. It is our conscious and our self-belief.

What affects us are external. If we are able to isolate this external inputs from our internal self, we are then in a better position to control our emotion, regardless of whether positive or negative. Though we can maintain the positive emotion (example, extreme happiness) as we wish. But extreme sadness? I suppose not!.

What are the key elements in controlling our emotion?

  • Understanding ourselves. This will reveal our strengths and weaknesses in dealing with events. Learn to match or re-focus feeling to other areas that we are comfortable in. Do not dwell long into any extreme situation where emotion gets intense. Move away! Come back to the situation only after some time when emotion or feeling settles down, and when better understanding of event has occurred.

  • Our role in the event. Some roles do not permit us to reflect an honest expression and this affects our emotion. Example is the role as a customer front-line officer. He is expected to be polite and courteous all times. However, he may encounter nasty customers that "do not give up complaining". If he follow suit and rebel, emotionally both side loses out. In this case, self-awareness is important. "What is our duty?". "What is our purpose in the situation?" Try to isolate inputs from our personal feeling. Attached them to the role and serve the duty properly in order to address any adverse situation. Emotion will, therefore, not be affected with this knowledge.

  • Understanding others. Place yourself in the other person's shoe. Seek to understand the situation from his point of view. New discoveries may happen and better relation can materalise. You will be talking in the same frequency as the others (if possible and appropriate). This element will serve to dilute any extreme emotional swing when dealing with unhappy occasion.

Emotion is a sticky problem. Learning to control it takes time and sincere practices. Internalise the way to react and control. Be honest with yourself (be frank over your weaknesses), and aim to be clear of your emotion for the good of yourself and others.



kirin said...

Hi! I came back to read your blog. It's educational both in terms of contents & language, I mean English. It's difficult for me how to comment properly, but I just wanna say hello (^0^)/

Happy Person said...

Hi kirin,
O-gen-gi? Nice to see you back here. Do not worry about commenting. Just do it! We will understand. I blog to improve my English too. Reading more will also help. Action is the key to improvement. Cheers!