Focusing on Main task

There are many challenges we face nowadays.

Things keep on piling up, and fast coming. The pace is never slowing down.

To absorb all that come along is madness. Hence to stay sane, focus.

Focus is to scope down the importance.

What is then the importance to you?

For some, the importance is more towards self.

Others is towards the community.

No right and no wrong. It is a matter of preference.

However, there are tasks that lead to rewards.

Thus, are the rewards the main task for one to aim for?

It may be the motivational element for you to direct your energy, but can it sustain?

Is it the real, true element that make you feel good?

Realize the true meaning of doing something.

If you do something well, rewards will come naturally.

Focusing on the rewards will, henceforth, be a deviation from the main task.

It will not be sustainable. It will drain energy.

Doing and focusing on the main issue will always be the true meaning of doing something, and doing it well.

Trying to aim for the rewards of doing something will normally make the main task less prominent in the mind of the doer. 

Be honest and focus on the main task. Do not sway and be tempted for rewards.

Self-improvement is a serious truly pure upgrading of oneself.

The worst thing is to cheat oneself and think highly of it. 

Stay clear of that intention.

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Daring to Fail

Everybody longs and seeks for success. It makes them happy and comfortable.

If you ever ask anyone why they avoid failure, they will always give you a stern look.
Why?

Because it may seems that you are testing their level of self-esteem.

Failure does pull down confidence. It destroys plans. It drags your you down emotional for a period of time.
Who likes failure?

Thus doing new and unfamiliar task becomes an issue to be avoided. 
After all what is wrong being in a comfort zone? Nothing will be wrong, and nothing will fail.

Status quo. No change.

Then what?

Times do change and lifestyle, technology and many others changes everyday.

If there is no action on your part to explore new things, you will become history very fast.
Accept failure.

Accept the fact that doing new things will result in failure. This is where you start to learn.
This is where you will find fun!

Learning through failure is one way out of many methods to pick up something new. 
But is a common method to improve oneself.

Daring to fail is the key. Love failure. It exposes you honestly. You will be opened up. You will find that failure in your every eyes a wonderful thing to have. It lets you find the truth after the feedback.

Think over this. Be truthful to yourself. 
If there is no action and remaining with the present, or worst, the past, you will finally lost yourself to the ever-changing world.

Wake up friends. Do your part and dare to fail.   :-)

Trust | Fundamental to Self-Improvement

Do you notice that when you are alone on the road to self-improve, you are solely responsible to your own learning?

This is very real.

Whatever goes into your brain determines your future action. With this new action, behaviour will change.

What are you learning?
Is the training material appropriate?
Do I trust the trainer and his material?

The above questions are important during the path of improvement.
You do want correct and relevant information, right?

However, the trust of your trainer is a very sensitive issue.
Do you TRUST his teaching?

If you do, he must have convinced you well. But do check his material off-line though.
Any reputable trainer has something good to share. He will not be there talking non-sense.
If in doubt, give him the benefit of the doubt first before checking and filtering the relevance.

The other case of trust is that you disbelief his teaching.
Why?
Question yourself.
If you are taking a course and you do not trust the words of the trainer, what more can you do?

As a learner, especially when you are alone, the only inputs are from somewhere else.
(Unless you re-invent some new materials !)
If you do not trust the trainer, how then do you improve.

If you do not trust the material, learning stops there right away.
You may be right. And terminates the learning if you have true doubt over the teaching.

But if you are caught, just note down whatever in question and starts to filter through after the session. This is, in fact, a crucial part of self-improvement; the selection of relevant material for acceptance.

In summary, TRUST is a very important step in learning and self-improving. If you start of doubting the words and material of the trainer, you are putting yourself in a disadvantaged position while the others move forward. Trust first and filter later will at least allow you to capture whatever the trainer is willing to share and for you to digest.

:-) Think about my point.  Comments welcomed.

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Understanding Situations

We as human do get angry easily.
We jump to conclusion very fast.
We assume we are correct most of the time.

We do not read situation as clearly as it may be.
We do not often understand situation before we make judgement.

Am I honest enough?

I was reflecting on a past incident and it made me laugh at myself, shamefully of course.
They allowed me to start seeing things in another angle.
And another new lesson to learn.

What happened then?

I put some candies on the dining table before going for a shower.
When I came back, I discovered my young daughter eating the candies.
They are not meant for her!
So I started scolding her.....


Now upon reading that situation again, I discovered one funny issue.
Whose kids do not like eating candies?
I suppose every kids!

So, when my kid saw the candies, is it a very natural behavioural instinct to eat them?
Yes.

Who is then the "source" of the issue?
Me!
I placed the candies where she can have access to.
I invited her!

I should be scolding myself, not her.  (So sorry, daughter)

I then recall another situation.
Similar but now it was not my daughter that ate the candies.

I placed candies on the table.
Ants came and had their share of the goodies.

Why did I not scold the ants as I would scold my daughter.

It is because I knew that I did the wrong thing since it is common knowledge that ants eat anything sweet.

I had assumed that my kid was an adult and can think and act as an adult.
Therefore I scolded her.
But I forgot that she is a (3-year-old) kid.

If I had understood the situation then I would not lost my temper and should even be happy because I have a normal kid that like candies.

Thus my lesson is to understand situation before jumping to conclusion and making inappropriate decision.

Do you all agree with me now?

(By the way, though I did not scold the ants, I killed them! Isn't that worst off!...)

Comments?

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Purpose of Learning

Self-improvement of oneself is a noble cause.

It allows us to grow to contribute and share.

Learning comes with an objective.

"Where will the learning be applied?" takes the main role in every development.

However, in real life, do we really follow what is mentioned above?

We go for training every now and then.
We learn new things, picked up new knowledge, and return back to where we are and then ....

We filled up our minds with unnecessary things as a result.
If we do not make use of our learning, then why are we learning?

Learning has to have deliverable.
It gets us working through the effort we put into developing ourselves.

If there is learning, but no application for it, we have only one thing to do.
That is, DO NOT attend the learning.

To keep us clear-minded and focus on the current, we have to stay clear in our thoughts.
All the saying of upgrading and improving ourselves do not hold water if we go for these "trainings" and come back status quo.

It is simply plain wastage of time and money (if any).
It causes our brain to create a false impression of ourselves improving.

The end result should be the applications of what we have picked up and situation changes for the better.
This is true learning.

Hence, go for improvement when you have a real need for it.
That is the purpose of learning, a simple logic.

Cheers!   :-)

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Benefits of Pain for Self-improvement

Getting and welcoming pain?

This is a horrible question to ask!

Who likes to have pain?
It is uncomfortable.
It makes one uneasy.
Nobody likes pain.

We know that.

However, do you also know that we will react upon getting pain?

We will tend to find all sort of solutions or excuses to avoid getting pain.

It keeps you on your toe.
It helps you fight your way out of feeling terrible.

You see the benefit of pain now?
Yes, pain does helps, in the proper sense, of course.

No pain no gain. Remember?

Sometimes it is pain that drives us strongly towards being a better person and a better life.

To break out of poverty, to break out of stagnation, we will force ourselves to work hard and to discover new ways of doing things, new technology, new friends, new knowledge, etc.

The catch is to find that pain to improve yourself.

I have come across many people who stay happy go lucky in life. Good for them.

However, do you want this type of life?
It is your choice.

For me, I feel bored after some time. I feel rotten. I feel that I should be more than present.

Where then is the pain?
There are few ways.
My humble suggestions as follows:-

• You may compare with your peer. See where they are now, and where are you compared with them. By salary, by status, by achievement, by number of kids, you name it....
• You may check out (online) what is the latest know-how in your area of expertise. How do you fair compared with them? Do you feel embarrassed after the comparison?
• Think of your past achievements and check your present status. Have you grown better? Or have your stayed as-it-is since the past 5 years?

All these suggestions are NOT to cut you down for low self-esteem.
They are to throw some light to you.
They are to wake you up.

Don't dwell in fantasy. Seek the pain, the good pain that cures your inertia, physical or mental.

Improve yourself means improving your surroundings too.
This surroundings are your family members, your friends, your company, your community, and your country. The list will go on.
The impact is great.

I seem to be talking BIG. But give a moment to reflect on this post. Give me your feedback in the comment section, if you have. I welcome them.

But remember, the wise man's "No pain No gain" still exist.

:-)     or rather  :-(

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Living in Relativity

Life is a complex blend of happiness and sadness. At one time, we are happy and the next, we may be sad.

However, to reflect clearly, it all comes from our relative comparisons and expectations.
We think that we are unfortunate in some instance. But is it really true?
By comparing to a “better” person, we are unfortunate. But if we set our reference to one that is worst, are we fortunate?
Thus, our mind calls the shot. We select how we feel
If we are physically ill, do we give up and let nature takes it course?

Cancer, stroke or heart problems are common nowadays.
How do we deal with it? Brighten up or dim off?
Help is always at hand and provided we are keen to know the issue.

Self-improvement is a continuous process regardless of mental or physical state.

I am lucky to know of a person, Jackie Clark, who has enlightened me on the issue of cancer.
It sort of waked me up to the relative state we are constantly in.

Here I present to you her sharing on how a cancer diagnosis changes a person's life.

 
How a Cancer Diagnosis Changes a Person's Life
By: Jackie Clark
 
Cancer is a disease that people do not truly understand unless it happens to them. Every year, there are millions of people who hear the scary words "you have cancer." Prostate, breast, colon and cervix are some of the most common forms of cancer being diagnosed today. Mesothelioma is one of the least common forms of cancer, but the number of people being diagnosed with has increased drastically in the past few years. The mesothelioma life expectancy is only about eighteen months, but the prognosis depends greatly on the patient.

People who have cancer are afraid because they do not know what their future holds. They do not know whether they will be able to do the things they once enjoyed. Cancer patients do not even know if they will wake up the next morning. Loved ones of a cancer patient are also affected. Sadly, cancer does not just affect the patient but others around them as well. Losing a friend, spouse, mother, father or child is a pain that cannot be described. Those who are close to someone who has cancer worry constantly about their loved one.

People who have cancer have to endure months and perhaps years of painful treatments. Cancer also causes hair and weight loss, which can make a person feel self-conscious. Many cancer patients also feel guilty because they feel as though they are being a burden to their family and friends.

There is no way that the pain of a cancer diagnosis can be taken away. However, one of the things that cancer patients can do that can potentially be beneficial is seeing a life coach. Life coaches are trained professionals who help people deal with the challenges of life. Life coaches can help cancer patients overcome depression. They can also help the patients develop a more positive self-image. The family members of cancer patients can also potentially benefit from life coaching. The benefits of a life coach seem never ending. The guidance and insight these professionals provide truly help cancer patients and their family members heal both physically and mentally.

People who have heard the devastating words "you have cancer" know that their lives will never be the same. Cancer patients, face a world of uncertainty, but fortunately they do not have to go down that road alone. Family members, friends and life coaches are available to help people go through that terrifying ordeal.

:-) Count your blessings.

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